Reality Wall -*SMASH* -

So, every once in a while we hit this reality wall of:

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I dunno.  What do you want to do for dinner?"

And so the story goes on, and on and on.  We don't go out very often.  Not only is it logistically complicated, but up here in NOVA it's expensive.  What might cost you 15.00 back home up here at the same restaurant can cost almost double.  We have been very blessed in that Ruby Tuesday's has been a safe food haven for us.  Their chicken is not preserved in any way and is delivered fresh from a farm daily, at least in this area.  The vegetables are totally fresh and the managers generally have bent over backwards to suit Duncan's accommodations.  We also recently discovered that Duncan can eat at least at the local Cheeseburger in Paradise:  Steak and steamed broccoli.  

However, not every time that we want to eat out do we want Ruby Tuesday's or Cheeseburger in Paradise.  Not every time that we want to eat out do we want to spend 30-35.00 plus tip. Not that we really do fast food, but there is no where to grab a quick snack (not even apple slices - they're all preserved with corn,) no fries for our little guy, not even a "Hey, let's go get a sandwich" - which gluten sensitive/celiac individuals have been dealing with for a long time.  At least the typical gluten-only sensitive people can have some deli meat, some burgers -etc - at restaurants.  Or, they can go somewhere like Uno's and get gluten-free pizza (It is A-MAZ-ING!) - but what about MFA kids?  

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of other families out there in the same corn boat that we are in.  I'm not down-playing gluten issues by any means or trying to make the indication that living gluten-free is easy...it's not.  It's just "easier" than having multiple food allergies and one of them being corn.  


On a daily basis when we sit in this NOVA traffic (think I-40 East Bound on a Friday after-noon in the summer NC people) and Duncan runs out of snacks , or drinks, or feels car sick and could use a carbonated drink/ginger ale - etc we're just in a mess.  So, daily outings include packing a typically 'large' cooler for the day with snacks, fruits, raw veggies, beans for protein, rice crackers with individual organic PB packets (thank GOD, literally, that he's not allergic to peanuts!) LOTS of cups or back-ups such as bottled spring water (he can't have purified water - think Dasani and Aquafina = no go,) small size individually packed Tropicana OJ's or Rice Milk's (thank goodness there are at least 2 'box' drinks he can have) pressed fruit bars, cookies (though not the type of cookies that might pop into your head) paper towels and tissues and wipes (Duncan can't use standard TP, tissues, or paper towels or wipes - darn the corn again) - etc.  The list could go on. 

So, every day that we go out we lug usually two huge bags as well as our cooler, sometimes two coolers, out to the car.  The first bag is our 'take-in' bag for where-ever we might go.  The second bag I refer to as the "Oh Crap" bag.  I don't say this in front of Duncan, mind you, but mentally that's what I refer to it as.  It is usually fully stocked with an extra package of our Jackson Reece wipes, paper towels, 3 additional spare cloth diapers, at least 2 extra pairs of shorts, a pair of pants and at least 1 clean shirt.  Since Duncan is not getting as car sick as he used to we don't "need" our sick bucket and clean-up kit, though they're still in the car.  We carry our big cooler with tons of ice-packs and a spare small cooler, sometimes pre-packed, for carrying in to where we might go.  Fortunately we are no longer having to carry his nebulizer and ALL of his meds each time we leave home.  That was an additional cooler & small bag whenever we were having to do that.  Now we just take epi-pens and compounded benadryl with us.  


So anyway, back to the story of "what's for dinner."  What is for dinner?  Every mom and wife out there knows this is a frustrating question at times.  In our case it's a daunting question that when we want to go out leads to either boredom (think Ruby Tuesday's for the 50th time) or just lack of new ideas due to limitations; so we stay home.  That's exactly what we did tonight:  Stayed home. 

I fell asleep while putting Duncan down for his nap and woke up way too late to consider defrosting or cooking anything.  Inevitably we did end up cooking at home.   But, we hit the frustration wall.  We wanted something new.  Something adventurous.  And, there was nothing; again.  Sure, Dave and I could have had supper out and just taken something for Duncan.  But, I did not want to do that Again.  Yes, again.  

That's our story day in and day out.  Sometimes you just want a break from reality and fixing Duncan a meal here at home at 7:30 then driving somewhere to get something to eat, having to sit down, wait for food, and then drive home just did not seem appealing.  On top of that some restaurants are beginning to be less understanding about us bringing food in now that he is old enough to eat off of the children's menu.  As he gets older this will just increase. 

Sure, there are laws protecting establishments from people bringing outside food in for the health and safety of people eating in the restaurant for contamination issues.  However, what about people like us who NEED to bring outside food in for just that: health reasons?  It's hard for some managers to believe that there is literally NOTHING in their establishment that fits Duncan's dietary needs.  That is the story more often than not.  I can not tell you how many LONG restaurant visits we've had (think 2 hours plus) where somewhat frantic and annoyed managers have gone back and forth to the kitchen for 30 minutes, plus, bringing us food labels because "THIS doesn't say CORN anything" only to be floored that the citric acid, potassium sorbate, Vitamin C, mixed tocopherols and SURPRISE - the salt contain corn.  Then I have to explain how, and where they can find the information for themselves online. 

Or, how many times we've had unknowing people tell Duncan in a restaurant, or grocery store, for that matter, "Tell your Mommy you want X - it's REALLY good!" and then that lead to a total meltdown because Duncan can't have X.  The worst is when in a restaurant a waitress will suggest a "grilled cheese" to Duncan.  Duncan L-O-V-E-S cheese.  However, currently the only cheese he can safely consume is Vegan Gourmet cheese.  That's it - and it's not that readily available at the average grocery store - much less available in a restaurant.  


So, this is our situation.  We want to take Duncan out.  WE want to eat out for our sanity from time to time to break of the monotony of our little bubble.  But, we're typically stuck.  It's not really a complaint as much as it is a frustration.  It's a frustration that we're grateful for in a lot of ways.  Our child is not eating processed GMO chemical laden junk (and yes, that Juicy Juice that you think it healthy...it's not) - but being able to give him a 'normal' experience of getting to PICK food off of a menu, to take him out for ice cream or sorbet, to be able to let him even pick products in a store instead of "this one is the one that you can have" ~ these are our every day challenges.  


It is a beautiful blessing to have to be forced into only being able to buy truly healthy preservative free foods for your child and family regardless of complications.  


But sometimes, just sometimes, it would be nice to answer, "What do you want to do for supper" with a hearty "Let's go HERE" instead of 2 hours of pondering and pouring over menus, and occasionally ingredient lists when available, online still to turn up empty handed and still sitting at home.


I know that there is a purpose for our family to affect the greater good in all of this.  I don't know how.  I don't know when.  I don't know where.  But I dream of a world, or a US :), where everything is not controlled by the government/corn industry link and Duncan can grow up to have choices.  To be a 'normal' teenage foody who gets to have choices that are easily available to him at a restaurant or at ONE grocery store instead of having to shop at 6 different stores that are all 30 minutes apart.


This weekend we are going to dive back into trying eggs baked into goods.  I do not intend to start fulling baking with eggs again, I've learned how to use flax well enough at this point why even mess with eggs?  They are allergenic and can cause serious illness when not disposed of properly.  Yuck.  But, we are doing this for a few reasons the primary of which being that there are a few additional pre-packaged frozen baked goods such as english muffins and breads by a few companies out there that Duncan could have if he could have egg.  Considering the fact that I have yet to make a truly scrumptious loaf bread recipe here at home, having a better tasting bread source for Duncan would be nice.  The bread he currently eats tastes like cardboard with an after-taste.  I kid you not.  He deserves better.  It's a wonderful product for all of the kiddos and adults out there that need it.  And, fortunately he doesn't know any different.  But, as his mother, I want more for him.  **So, wish us luck** This egg trying process is very long.  First, he will receive long bake time baked goods for a week.  If he does well for that week then he will progress slowly to short bake baked goods such as cookies for several days.  Next would come pancakes/waffles for several days to a week and provided that that was sucessful we could take the plunge to something along the lines of scrambled egg.  I have to admit that I am chicken to have him trying full egg.  In fact, I'm afraid - period - to try the pancake stage again.  But if, maybe if, the bread/muffin stage were successful then we could expand Duncan's food catalog and that would be fantastic!



*On a side note* - I have always LOATHED hearing people use the word 'retard' or 'retarded' as slang.  It drives me batty.  It's rude and inconsiderate.  It wipes away the connection of personal struggle and day to day inescapable reality that people with special needs deal with on a daily basis as well as the mountains and hurdles that they've already climbed.  While watching Glee just now, a show I don't normally watch, they just did a "be kind" commercial for not using the word "Retarded" as slang and in reference to someone whom might appear 'less intelligent' than you think is the norm.  THANK GOODNESS!  I'm SO happy that someone is finally speaking out for this issue!  A world of acceptance, peace, love and understanding?  How nice would that be?